A Pocket Archive (52)

Is it just me, or is everyone slowly starting to have the same face?

I have always loved drawing portraits. If you have the right eyes, everyone is interesting to draw, or at least has some feature that is. Conventionally attractive or not, nearly every person has something compelling about them. While some people are objectively more attractive than others, it’s ugly behavior that truly repels me. I’ll admit I’ve known some people (well, they're admittedly monsters more than they are people) whose cruelty or pettiness makes their flaws stand out more sharply; every imperfection seems amplified when someone’s character is already rotten (although I imagine it must be convenient to be able to smell things from half a mile away or to be able to look both directions at once when crossing the street). It's the same as how when you love someone, they look even more attractive to you. Overall, most people are beautiful or interesting in their own way, and I love drawing their unique features: crooked teeth, long noses, slightly mismatched eyes, or bodies marked by scars, piercings, and folds.

Still, it’s undeniable that every era has its preferred beauty standards. Right now, especially for women, it’s symmetry, sculpted cheekbones, full lips, and that delicate, upturned button nose. Artists naturally replicate what they see and admire, so figurative work often contains similar faces. It makes sense honestly; we like drawing beautiful things. Yet I’ve noticed female subjects, in particular, start to blend together in a way that feels uncanny.

But it’s not just the art.

Maybe it’s because of social media, and everyone having access to the same tutorials, filters, and trends, but uniqueness seems to be fading. Wanting to look good isn’t the issue; it’s that “looking good” increasingly means lip filler, rhinoplasty, identical hairstyles, and the same curated aesthetic. I mentioned it to my hairstylist, who agreed. She pointed to trends and cosmetic procedures that make beauty standards easier to achieve, but also do seem to polish away anything distinctive. The result is an army of faces that are conventionally attractive, but strangely uniform. They appear, perfect for a moment, and then vanish from memory the second you scroll away. I feel elitist saying it, but it's true. It's like seeing the same person over and over again.

In a way, I get it. When you’re young, you don’t want to stand out unless it’s for something admirable. You want someone to see you as unique, but at the same time you’re reaching for the same ideal everyone else is chasing. Social media pushes people even further into little aesthetic boxes. They strike the same poses, same angles, same presentation of the “perfect” face, body, or life. You can flick your thumb upward and see a hundred nearly identical faces. It’s unsettling how forgettable they are.

Sometimes I wonder if that desire for sameness bleeds into other parts of life. The rise of identical, neutral-toned homes with furniture arranged like a realtor staged it, décor that feels more trendy than personal, and the same mass-produced signs with cliché, cheerful sayings, my all-time least favorite being "live, love laugh". Perhaps it appeals to a sense of calm or belonging, but to me it usually reads as polished, artificial, and impersonal, like any trace of individuality has been deliberately sanded out.

I sometimes catch myself thinking, perhaps unfairly, that maybe the people who cling to these aesthetics also have empty heads. Or maybe they simply lack inspiration or direction. But I know that isn’t true for most people, most simply like what they like, and comfort is not a crime, nor does it imply an actual lack of personality or intelligence. Still, there’s a clear divide between those who create their own sense of beauty (quietly, without needing approval) and those who feel pressured to project perfection. The line shifts for everyone, but I can’t help thinking some people seem to believe that if they broadcast happiness and perfection loudly enough, it will eventually become real.

My favorite people are the ones who don’t need to project anything at all, who move through the world with an unforced sense of self. They’re usually private or understated, not clamoring for attention or validation. On the other hand, there are also those who perform uniqueness just as intensely as others perform perfection, trying to prove they’re “not like the other girls” (I say that collectively, not as a reference to gender) which is just conformity wearing a different outfit. It's just as artificial.

I value authenticity and character, both in appearance and in principle, and I appreciate people who take care of themselves without doing it performatively; people who are simply themselves, without calculation or ulterior motives. I think narcissists and liars secretly do too, because they can never be those people, and they envy it. They have a paradoxically grandiose sense of self without posessing any real personality or depth, and that's why they steal so much from those around them.

I hope there comes a day when people don’t feel pressured to inflate their lips or shave down their noses just to feel like they’re enough, and when someone’s inner life matters more to them than what strangers perceive on the outside. No ugliness stays hidden forever, regardless of the methods used to conceal it; eventually everything comes out in the open.

Fortunately, goodness works the same way. Beauty, sincerity, and individuality always shine through, even in a world that feels increasingly identical. And I’m grateful that no matter how uniform things become, there will always be people who are good and true, and whose uniqueness can’t be sanded away.

Those are the people I want around me. And, God-willing, they will continue to be. I would not trade them for anything.